You have an understanding of what regulation is, and a sense of how to begin bringing yourself back to center when you're feeling emotionally off-kilter. But now what? How do you know when you are dysregulated, and begin to use some of this in your daily life? While there are some universal internal cues, we all have unique responses to feeling emotionally under or overwhelmed. Knowing what responses are these are allows us to take steps to bring ourselves back into balance.
So how do we stay steady in the face of a storm? If Emotion Regulation is about mindfully, thoughtfully letting things impact us-- allowing ourselves to have feelings and reactions to something and responding in a way that is not only socially appropriate but also in line with our integrity and goals for ourselves-- how do we do this? How, with so much heartbreak, suffering, grief, and uncertainty around us do we respond without being overwhelmed by our own rage, sadness, and
Emotion regulation is our ability to take in what is happening around us, apply our internal filters (based on our wiring- our innate temperament and unique nervous system- and our past experiences), and turn that into a socially acceptable, appropriate response that takes into account the experiences and reactions of those around us. Put in another way-- making sense of what's happening around you without losing your cool. A child with emotion regulation difficulties might h